Brynn's Story

On May 6, 2009 I took my first pregnancy test ever and was extremely shocked when I got 2 pink lines. I was pregnant! I couldn't hardly believe it. I stood there shocked and amazed at the same time that the first pregnancy test that I took said that I was indeed pregnant. I ended up going to walmart on my lunch break to buy more test just to confirm that I was for sure. Devon wasn't with me, so I decided that I was going to call him and tell him I had a meeting after work so I would be home later. As soon as I got off work I went to the mall and bought some things to surprise Devon with when I told him that we were pregnant. I got home and gave Devon the package and the first thing out of his mouth before he even opened it was "Are you pregnant?" Now I am not a very good lair especially when I am excited about something so it took all I had to look at him in the face and just say "Open the package." Oh the joy on his face when he opened it and confirmed that we were pregnant. The next morning he still was in shock and almost in disbelief so he had me take another pregnancy test just to show him. I then called and made my first Doctors appointment. Our Doctor ordered an ultra sound just to confirm how far along we were. Needless to say I was very disappointed when we were told that we were only 6 weeks along. I was really hoping that we were farther along.


Then 6 weeks and 1 day hit and oh man talk about the morning sickness. I was sick morning, noon and night. It didn't matter what I tried I was always sick. My typical day went like this. I got up running to the bathroom, threw up, made Devon and myself breakfast while Devon was getting ready. Got ready for work. Got to work and about 10:30 running to the bathroom again. My lunch breaks were around 1, so I would eat feel a little better, get back to work and about 3:30 running to bathroom again. Some night when I got home I would be sick and others I would be fine. I think out of my whole pregnancy I went only 1 full week of not throwing up and that was when we went to Chicago in July to see Devon's family. Even though I was sick a lot I didn't mind. I was just excited that we were pregnant.


My sister works for the hospital in the radiology department so when we hit our 16 week she got us in for an early ultra sound to find out what we were having. I wanted a little girl so bad I could hardly stand it and of course Devon wanted his little guy. Needless to say when we found out that we were having a girl I could hardly stand it! I was so excited and happy. Mommy was getting her little princess. Brynn was so shy. It took us a good 45 mins to find out what she was. I had to get up go to the bathroom, get a drink of ice cold water, eat some chocolate, anything to get her to move and then finally get got what we were looking for!


I felt Brynn's little flutter for the first time when I was 17 1/2 weeks along. At the time Devon was in Portland for training and I was staying with my sister and her family. I was laying in bed on my back just about to fall asleep and felt this little fluttery feeling. It caught me off guard and I waited and waited for it to happen again. I wasn't sure if I had really felt what I thought it was, but sure enough I talked to my sister the next morning and it was indeed Brynn moving. Soon after that I started to feel her more regularly and then finally Devon was able to feel her move. It was such an amazing moment for the three of us together. Devon and I would sit and watch my belly for hrs. Brynn was so active and it was fun watching her tumbling around, punching and kicking. Devon loved to put his head down on my stomach and listen to her heart beating. There were many time he got kicked in the head.


When I hit my 33 week mark on November 16 I couldn't help but think about how any day now this little sweet miracle could be showing up in our home. The only thing I didn't know was that in 2 days I would be having Brynn but going home empty handed.


After I got off work on November 16 Devon and I went out to dinner at Texas Road house. We had a wonderful time talking about we both were excited for Brynn to come and the fun things we were going to do as a family. We went home got into bed and put a movie in. At 10p.m. I sat up and told Devon that I had felt Brynn move in a long time. We talked it over and decided that she was just relaxing so we went to sleep. At 1 a.m. on November 17 I woke up with a start knowing that I still hadn't felt Brynn move. I got out of bed went to the kitchen got some water drank it and went and sat in the rocking chair and started poking after about 20 minutes I went back into the bed room tears filling my eyes as I woke Devon up to tell him that I still hadn't felt Brynn move. He put his head down to listen and couldn't hear anything. He then gave me a blessing of comfort. At this point we knew she was gone yet I didn't want to believe it. Devon called L/D and they told us to come in. We got there and one nurse started to look for a heart beat, after about 10 minutes another nurse came in and tried and she still couldn't find anything. The resident Dr on the floor came in and did an ultra sound and then called for a second ultra sound with a better machine. I couldn't stop crying I knew my baby girl was gone. It was confirmed by the second ultra sound and my Dr was called. I begged him not to send me home, just to get me induced. So at 5 am I was emitted to the hospital to be induced. Family was called. I couldn't stop crying, I was so sick how could this happen. After a long 36 hrs of labor Brynn was born at 7:35 P.M. November 18, 2009 weighting 3 lbs 12 oz, she was 17 1/2 inch long and her head was 11 1/2 inch's around.


We couldn't believe how beautiful our little angel was. She had a head full of brownish red hair. Ears, feet and hands that matched her Mommies. Red lips like her Daddy. The tiniest little nose. We're still not sure who's nose she had I think it was a combo of mine and Devons. She just had so many similarities of me and Devon. It was surely a bitter sweet moment. We had a photographer from NILMDTS come and take some pictures for us and a lady who does foot and hand casts came and made a foot and hand cast of Brynn. I am so grateful I have these to remember my sweet little baby girl by.


We then let Brynn go at midnight because she needed to be prepped for the funeral. The next day I was released from the hospital. I could hardly breath knowing that I was leaving the hospital without my baby. Instead I was leaving with a box of her belonging in it and going home to prepare for my baby girls funeral plans. I couldn't look at anyone in the eye as we were leaving the hospital. We got home and my mom stayed the night with us. On Friday November 20th we picked Brynn up. Oh it was the hardest thing sitting there holding my baby for the last time. My arms, my whole body just ached to have some type of miracle happen, to wake up and realize that this was all just a dream.


Saturday November 21, 2009. It snowed. I have decided that Brynn really must love snow and that is her sign to us that she is thinking about us. There was nothing in the weather saying that it was going to snow that day, but we woke up to a three inch blanket of it. It was so fitting. Brynn left unspotted from this world and returned as a perfect person to our Heavenly Father. I miss my baby girl so much and cannot wait for the day that we are reunited as an eternal family forever.