My love/hate relationship with November

Dear Brynn,

I know November is a time to remember how thankful you are for the things in your life but for me I have a love hate relationship with November. I do have so many wonderful things in my life that I am grateful for but at the same time I have a really hard time expressing those things. I have a really hard time because November 16 I found out that you went home to your Heavenly father, November 18th I gave birth to a beautiful little girl that I never got to hear cry. November 21 we laid your little body to rest. I love you so much and wouldn't change anything in having you but November is not the month that I want to be reminded of the things that I am grateful for when my heart hurts so much. My life has been filled with a constant hurt that never seems to go away. I have my days that it doesn't hurt as much but the fact is, it's still there. Your little sister brings me so much joy and I love her so much as well, but part of me can't help but think about how I wish I could see you two playing together. I love you Brynn. I can't wait to see you again someday.

Love Mommy