Counting my blessings

So as you know Devon and I are moving back to Wyoming! I am very excited and nervous at the same time. But I know that this move is the right thing to do; whatever it may have in store for us. I am excited for the new opportunities that await us in Star Valley and for the opportunity to be close to Brynn. The last week I have been thinking and reflecting on my daughter and thinking about how much I miss her. I also have been having dreams about the night we went to the hospital and listing to the Dr. say "I'm sorry but nothing was there." Or my dreams are that I am pregnant again with her and can feel her kicking and I wake up and realize it's just phantom kicks. But what a blessing she has been to us, despite the heartache that has come from it. I have a perfect daughter, one who gets to go to the celestial kingdom without having to deal with the scum here on this earth. I know I get to be with her for eternity... Well I am going to work my hardest so I can be worthy to be with her for eternity. I love it when she comes and visits me and Devon. I always know when she comes; the house has such a warm and special feeling. I feel like I have become more sensitive to others feelings and want to reach out to those who may be struggling with whatever they have going on in their life. I have met some AMAZING people who I have been able to get strength from. I am grateful to parents who taught Devon and me to Love God!!

Oh and just so you know we got Brynn's headstone ordered finally! I cannot wait for the end of April when it will be done! I have so many ideas of what I want to put up on her grave!

Wouldn't I

So for the past few days the thought 'wouldn't I have made a good mom'? Keeps running through my head and partly it from the fact that the other day Devon and I were out running some errands and we saw a girl who had to be maybe 17 years old who was about 7 or 8 months pregnant. Needless to say I was having one of those days where I was thinking why is it someone like that who is still a baby herself gets to have her baby? Would I not have been a good mom? Devon and I have been trying to get pregnant again and this week was suppose to be the week we found out. Well its 3 days now past my period start date and I still test negative. I never thought that sitting there watching a stupid little stick that can have a joyful result or crushing result could bring such heartache. Needless to say I am tired of crying. But for some new exciting news. Devon and I are moving!! I am so ready for a change but it means leaving my sister and her family :( not happy about that part. Its been really fun being close to them and having fun with her kids.