Little Footprints

How very softly you tiptoed into my world.



Almost silently you stayed,



but what an imprint your footsteps



have left upon my heart



A heart of gold stopped beating



My baby girl's eyes at rest



God broke our hearts to prove,



He only takes the best.



God knew she had to leave us,



but she did not go alone.



For part of us went with her,



the day He took her home.



To some she is forgotten,



to others... just the past,



but to us who loved and lost her



memories will always last.



 BabyFruit Ticker

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Counting my blessings

So as you know Devon and I are moving back to Wyoming! I am very excited and nervous at the same time. But I know that this move is the right thing to do; whatever it may have in store for us. I am excited for the new opportunities that await us in Star Valley and for the opportunity to be close to Brynn. The last week I have been thinking and reflecting on my daughter and thinking about how much I miss her. I also have been having dreams about the night we went to the hospital and listing to the Dr. say "I'm sorry but nothing was there." Or my dreams are that I am pregnant again with her and can feel her kicking and I wake up and realize it's just phantom kicks. But what a blessing she has been to us, despite the heartache that has come from it. I have a perfect daughter, one who gets to go to the celestial kingdom without having to deal with the scum here on this earth. I know I get to be with her for eternity... Well I am going to work my hardest so I can be worthy to be with her for eternity. I love it when she comes and visits me and Devon. I always know when she comes; the house has such a warm and special feeling. I feel like I have become more sensitive to others feelings and want to reach out to those who may be struggling with whatever they have going on in their life. I have met some AMAZING people who I have been able to get strength from. I am grateful to parents who taught Devon and me to Love God!!

Oh and just so you know we got Brynn's headstone ordered finally! I cannot wait for the end of April when it will be done! I have so many ideas of what I want to put up on her grave!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Wouldn't I

So for the past few days the thought 'wouldn't I have made a good mom'? Keeps running through my head and partly it from the fact that the other day Devon and I were out running some errands and we saw a girl who had to be maybe 17 years old who was about 7 or 8 months pregnant. Needless to say I was having one of those days where I was thinking why is it someone like that who is still a baby herself gets to have her baby? Would I not have been a good mom? Devon and I have been trying to get pregnant again and this week was suppose to be the week we found out. Well its 3 days now past my period start date and I still test negative. I never thought that sitting there watching a stupid little stick that can have a joyful result or crushing result could bring such heartache. Needless to say I am tired of crying. But for some new exciting news. Devon and I are moving!! I am so ready for a change but it means leaving my sister and her family :( not happy about that part. Its been really fun being close to them and having fun with her kids.